Got a little Captain in ya?

I haven't been blogging much. Well, tough. One would think that, being unemployed, I would have a lot more time to do things like this. Unfortunately I have discovered that the number of things I have to talk about is inversely proportional to the amount of free time I have on my hands. see Graph A:

Probably the most significant recent development is that I turned 31. Yup. We had a pirate party. My friends are pretty cool and I will be sad to leave those dirty motherfuckers behind, but they're too damn uncultured to come with me. Well I hope they enjoy their backward banjo-playing, pig-fucking midwestern life. Also, for those of you who don't know, it is still mustache march, the bastard stepchild of no-shave november, some of the most fantastic holidays ever invented. Now I kind of forgot about this until about a week ago, so I did the best I could:

Well, that's pretty much it. I'm still waiting on my visa number from immigration, then it's down to Texas to get a visa, move out of my apartment, get to Seattle for a few days and I should be in SoKo by the end of April.

See you on The Dark Side

Thumb Twiddlin'

Boredom has set in.

So, recently, I published that I had gotten a job which is true, but as I am quickly becoming personally aware, even before leaving the lands of my birth, it does not come without it's own generous helping of frustration. After having gotten all of the necessary documents in order, stamped with the appropriate marks of quasi-officiality, neatly packaged in a protected and insured container, paid for in blood, sent via "express" mail which I am fairly certain means delivered via pack mule, I recieve a phone call.

We shall call her Lucy.

Lucy is my Korean-born, American-raised, Korean employed recruiter. She has been good to me so far and barring her revealing her true nature as a brilliant corporate double-agent, I am choosing to trust her. However, all is not sunshine and roses as you might have expected any transaction in my target country of choice to be. I have been informed that the teacher I am replacing has opted to stay on for an extra month. Now this has two distinct results for me. First, it gives me a degree of optimism as to the pleasant working environment I am getting myself into which, given the spewing cesspool of negativity that is Dave's, is a nice little surprise. Second and more immediately relevant is the fact that I now have another month to sit on my ass.

I had already quit my job and prepared myself for a whirlwind of activity culminating in a triumphant arrival, treading proudly through avenues of natives kissing my cargoes and offering me their daughters. What I now have is entirely too much time on my hands and too few video games left to fill it. Guess I'll go finish this bottle of scotch...

See you on the Dark Side

Snail Mail

I may have made a terrible mistake.

Now those of you who know me and are reading this will need to go ahead and pick up your jaws off the floor. For those of you don't, allow me to clarify: I don't make mistakes. There may be extraordinarily awkward and troublesome consequences to my actions, but do not be deceived, those actions are not mistakes. Entire populations may wail and perish as a result of my unplanned and careless wandering, but there were no mistakes. The doctor says this ointment will deal with that rash and I am a little hazy on her name, but it wasn't a mistake. These are all just interesting side plots in the film noir of my life.

However, this time I may have, well... goofed.

I used the United States Postal Service to send some necessary documents to the ROK.

It will take 7 days.

7 days? Really? I'm fairly certain I could hitchhike and stowaway my way there in less. Sure I run the risk of ending up in 7 pieces by the side of the road or being kidnapped by Singaporean pirates and sold as a sex slave in Myanmar. I am very pretty after all. Damn my rugged David Tennant good looks. Anywho, I'm not sure FedEx would have been any quicker, but I was too lazy to go find out. Hopefully No One steals my job before it all gets there.

See you on the Dark Side