I have rediscovered a passion of mine. In China we called it Chenglish. I suppose I should start referring to it by it's new moniker "Konglish", although every time see I see that word I see a Giant Gorilla on top of the Empire State Building asking tiny toy planes for directions.
I was asked via email for additional pictures to show to my potential employers which were more "casual". Now, being an exceptionally skilled ninja, I'm not really a picture person. It makes public restaurant assassination a bit dicey. So I spent an hour sifting through various files on my laptop trying to find work safe pictures that would show my fun, non-assassiny side. I came up with a few that I thought were appropriate, including one of me cutting quite the rug at a dance party and another of me with an ex (she is very pretty, albeit fucking psychotic, which I figured couldn't hurt my case). I was later told by my recruiter that what they actually wanted was something with me wearing a suit, which as we all know, is the pinnacle of relaxation in the US of A.
Oh yeah, I've missed this, and it's gonna be good.
Now, I'm an irresponsible 30 year old boy. That's why I've lived off of the Coffee Retail Industry for the last 7 years. It keeps me in booze, frozen chicken and video games. It's the life right? well, I'm bored and sick of American entitlement, so there ya go. The moral of the story is this: I don't own a suit. The last time I wore a suit was at my dad's funeral, and I'm pretty sure I borrowed it, so they're just shit out of luck.
See you on the Dark Side
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