In Transit Pt. I

So I've decided to document all of the Wierdo McOddity that has happened to me in the last 48 hours. However, I will be doing it in a somewhat reverse order and in chunks as I don't have a lot of time before my first foreigner party. As it turns out, the person I am replacing is still here (although out of the apartment now so no more love motel for me) and his compadres are throwing him a going away party. I have been invited, and despite the fact that I am quite busily staving off jet lag I can't pass up the chance to actually meet some people.


I got lost today. Yup, not even 24 hours here and I've aleady managed to wander aimlessly into the night. Now, be aware that I don't have a phone yet, don't speak the language, and have no clear understanding of urban geography. I also know only two people here and only know the location of their domicile, which is relatively useless information at this point. All I had was my street name and the vague hope that I would be able to comprehend the directions given by whatever sympathetic English speaking soul was willing to help me.

To top it all off, I was only popping down to the corner store 50 feet down the street for some water, so of course I left my ipod with my handy Korean language app and all of my phrasebooks in my apartment. Couple that with slight globe-trot-induced discombobulation and a deep-seated need to see what's down that alley over there and you've got trouble.

I played a lot of video games "when I was a kid" and I think this is what eventully proved to be my salvation. See, your average RPG (role-playing game) has dungeons or mazes for you to enter, clean out, and find sweet loot in. I eventually figured out the pattern by which these dungeons are designed and realized "when in doubt, turn left." So with the philosophy of "If it ain't broke don' fix it" I followed my gut and eventually found the garage of the love motel in which I stayed and from there made my way back home. However, it was not all mild panic and pitter-pattering heartbeats. I also found a Dominoes, a Baskin Robbins, a Starbucks, 14 DVD bangs, 3 lecturing adjummas and a Paris Baguette. Awesome!

I should probably curb this curiosity at least until I get a phone.

Probably won't though.


See you on The Dark Side

Aaaand, Here I am!

I'm here! In a love motel until guy moves out of my place tomorrow! I don't work until monday! I can't see straight! I will sleep now! More when I have solid internet access.


See you on the Dark Side

Here I Come...

Sorry for the short posts these days, I've got a few things on my plate.

I leave my hometown for the last 6 years tomorrow night for a complete body transplant into the land of Kimchi and Misunderstanding. I've said a lot of goodbyes in the last 24 hours, some painful, some relieving and some downright mystifying. But in all of it I have the faith and confidence of the inspired, so I leave you tonight with a few things both melancholy and hopeful.








*poem courtesy of Ananth and Yuko at Johnny Wander
http://www.johnnywander.com/

See you on the Dark Side

Bah!

I am up late drinking Scotch and reading Ginsberg.

God I wish I could write like him.

God I need to get out of here.





God I wish I could sleep...



See you on the Dark Side

Red State

Why do I always drink the last of my booze on saturday night?

I am currently two sips away from my last 6 point beer. I'm out of Scotch, the Vodka is gone, and even the girly crap SOMEONE left in my refrigerator has gone the way of the velociraptor. To top it off I live in one of the most conservative states on the union, which means that liquor stores are closed on sundays and other stores only sell 3 point crap, which is the perpetrator in the crime to my previously pristine waistline.

I have got to learn to plan better.

Aaaand *glug* that's the last of it...

See you on the Dark Side

Structure, I needs it.

So I've been brushing up on my hangdrool. And by brushing up, I mean I made flashcards half an hour ago and have been scouring the internet for pronunciation guides because my THREE language books have failed me. I know I know, I should have done this a month ago, but I've been enjoying my relatively obligation free period of unemployment, so suck it Trebeck. Now first of all, no one and I mean NO ONE apparently knows a good example for this one particular character (which I haven't figured out how to type yet). Anyway, I don't feel like describing it right now, so I'll get back to that later.

Now I've already figured out that I need to leave the more complex dipthongs beginning with W and Y for later, after I have a modicum of control over the more basic vowels and consonants, aspirates and whatnot and I get that some of the characters are just doubles of the others. However, I like math. And as a stupid math-o-phile, I need a system. Something... I don't know... systematic. Or systemic, whichever does the trick.

Now I used to be pretty good at memorizing lines for plays and shit, but due to some... fantastic... choices when I was younger, my memory is not what it once was. However, I am confident that once I master the basics of visualizing a picture instead of a string of characters, I will be pretty damn good at speaking the language. I've found that's it's more a matter of zen-ing out and listening in blocks than trying to translate every word, which at the risk of tooting my own horn, I have a knack for. That may be because of my penchant for ignoring most of what goes on around me unless something triggers one of about a hundred cerebral switches that flash the "WARNING: REPLY REQUIREMENT IMMINENT" sign in my dude-brain.

Anywho, if anyone out there has any suggestions I'd love to hear them.

by the way, the character is thus far best described as making a "ui" sound and is one of the y-based dipthongs. There is a similar sound in Chinese, but I want to make sure I'm learning it right.

See you on the Dark Side

FLASH! AAaaah He'll save everyone of us!

Queen is the greatest band to walk the Earth.

Watch this movie ya jerks.



This is what happens when Scotch is readily available.

See you on the Dark Side.

Home...

Hand rolled cigarette: Check

Glass of 14 year old scotch: Check

Slice of deep dish Chicago style pizza: Check

Kung Fu movie: Check

There are some things in life that bring us to a state of zen-like comfort. These things may take a lifetime of exploration and experimentation to find, but once discovered they are an important step into an existential realm of the sublime. Mine happen to be a combination of things that were once outlawed by the mandates of a society in which I was raised but in which I was never truly at home. I have found some things that truly make me happy, and I fear that some of these things may shortly become unavailable to me. However, I also believe in never becoming sedate or complacent, and so I embark on a journey which will take me into an entirely new realm of discovery. Find what brings you to enlightenment, but never make the mistake of thinking that those are the only things which will.


See you on the Dark Side

Editor's note: The other option for this post was "Holy Shit! Cheetahs!" That's what happens when you watch the Nature channel drunk. Maybe I'll post that one later.

Four Lesbians and I...

Had burgers yesterday.


I believe it is safe to say that a good half of my friends are gay. I'm pretty proud of this given the fact that I live in the buckle of the Bible Belt and was raised in a deeply Southern Baptist family, but it doesn't come without it's own set of challenges. Due to the blatant prejudice rampant in the afore-mentioned locale in which I was raised and, for the moment, still reside, I have found that meeting new people of a less conventional sexual preference is usually frought with uncertainty on both sides. They are usually a little trepidatious with me because they don't know if I am judging them while I in turn am on eggshells trying not to let my inner asshole out.


I have what some consider to be an abrasive sense of humor, and what all consider to be a complete disregard for the niceties of conversational etiquette. Honestly, I just don't see the point. Really? I have neither the patience nor the inclination to dance around a given issue, or try to be "polite" when a question needs to be answered or a problem solved. I am blunt, bull-headed, honest, forthright, stubborn, probably opinionated and sometimes even arrogant. How am I doing so far ladies? Husband material yet?

However the gay issue is somewhat close to my heart, since I have so many close friends who are, so I make an exception. I try my hardest to put new friends at ease and let them get to know me before I unleash the Kraken.

I think the reason it's such a big deal for me is that there's so much out there that conspires to make us bitter and distant from each other and, while I may be a bit cynical and jaded, I love to see people finding love and comfort wherever they can. So when some whack job at the state capitol tries to tell my friends that because they have found a bastion in which they can take refuge against the creeping tide of hate and derision that life sometimes brings, but that bastion is made of brick instead of stone, they are different and somehow inferior to other people, I take umbrage. Big violent poison-spewing fucking umbrage. I'm so glad to be getting out of here.

Now as I understand it, the situation is no better where I'm going. As a matter of fact it is a few orders of magnitude worse. Well, what's life without a challenge eh? That and my steel wool personality will probably be getting me into a lot of trouble. If you see me in the ROK, bring scotch.

See you on the Dark Side

p.s. On a lighter note, I watched Ninja Assassins. Twice. In the same night. BAD. ASS.